In my last post, I talked about the “Silence Exercise”… a game I play where I try and be as silent as possible in set. This is actually a really useful exercise for improving your bodylanguage, confidence and conversational skills.
Anyway, I thought that I would start a little challenge to the guys on the The Attraction Forums and this blog: do the Silence Exercise on at least ONE set, every time you go out, and report back on this thread.
The person with the best Field Report will get a free 1/2 hour phone consultation from me. Bonus points for guys who post hilarious and ridiculous conversations.
What is the Silence Exercise?
I mention it in a previous post (link), but basically, the purpose of this exercise is to develop your non-verbal communication skills, and learn to handle awkward silences in conversations, by talking as LITTLE as possible in set, without getting blown out.
Basically, it goes like this: You open normally, or go in as a wingman. Once the set is engaged in the conversation (the “hook” point), you start playing. The goal is to talk as LITTLE as possible, without losing the set. You’ll probably be surprised to see how WELL you can do while hardly saying anything.
In order to communicate, you’re allowed (and encouraged) to do the following things.
– You can talk a bit – try and keep it to three word sentences or less. Cryptic and “deep” sounding stuff is great. Also, saying half a thought and trailing off works really well too “I noticed something….” etc.
– Focus on bodylanguage. Being locked in is really important for this exercise. Having an intense and thoughtful look on your face is also really important, as it makes you look mysterious and interesting, instead of just boring and quiet.
– Questions are OK. I know we’re usually against asking too many questions, but you can ask questions in this game. You need to ask open-ended questions though, because if you ask a closed-ended question, your conversation will die quick.
– Speak slowly and with emotion. Creating maximum impact out of every word is important.
– Use eye contact and facial expressions to try and prompt more talk from your targets. Instead of asking her a question, or making a comment on something she said, just try raising an eyebrow and giving a quizzical look. The more you can communicate without talking, the more you’re learning.
What you’ll find when you do this excercise is that you’ll realize how EASY it actually is to keep a conversation going when you have your bodylanguage and tonality down, and you’ll probably have some rediculous and entertaining conversations as well.