The other day we talked about the classic “Hold My Drink” test that often comes up in bars and I quizzed you on your responses. You guys came up with some great replies.
Before I go into the replies, A reader submitted one good question that I thought I would address here.
“Why do women even give these tests in the first place? Why not just cut the games and ask me what you want to know?”
This is a great question. It can be frustrating for men to realize that women are often testing you and your reactions, rather than communicating honestly with you.
So why do women test?
The simple answer, is because some men lie.
Some men have a bad habit of telling people what they want to hear. They pretend to have opinions they don’t really have. They pretend to like things they don’t really like. They pretend to agree when they disagree. They exaggerate their strengths and try to cover up glaring weaknesses.
Women don’t like men like this. These men are dishonest – they don’t give her the feeling of being desired by a powerful man she can trust.
Because they are untrustworthy.
And so, women learn to test a man: to see if that man is actually who he appears to be.
So, if you walk up to a woman confidently, she might very well test you – to see if you are confident, to see if you are honest.
If you pass the test, you get something. First, you get a bit of respect and likely attraction. Second, you get a bit of practice in asserting yourself and being straightforward.
Remember, every test is an opportunity.
Anyway, back to the quiz.
Congruence Test of The Week: QUIZZ BREAKDOWN
I gave four possible responses. Here’s a breakdown of each, and when they might be appropriate.
A) Take the drink, sniff it. Say “this looks good” and act like you are about to drink it.
This is the “funny guy” response. Being the funny guy is a good step up from being a doormat, but it’s still playing a bit too safe. Use this response if you’re new or in a social situation where you don’t feel like taking risks (i.e. at a polite event). This is also the right move if there are no tables, so she actually has a legitimate reason to ask you to hold her drink.
This response was also the most popular response amongst blog readers.
B) Point to a nearby table and say “there’s a table right there”.
I actually don’t use this response. D or E are almost always better depending on the context.
C) Look her in the eye and say “my hands are really gross, you don’t know where they have been.”
This response is funny, but not actually recommended. You are getting a laugh at your own expense.
D) Look at her with a raised eyebrow, take the drink, and slowly and deliberately set it down on the table, as if to say “see, that’s not hard”
This is more risky and more assertive than A), but still very safe. You don’t look like a tool, but you also don’t violate any social conventions either. For all the guys who answered “A” as the response they would give, try stepping it up to this one.
E) Just stare at her as she holds the drink in the air, not reacting, until she puts it down on the table next to her.
This is the power move in the list. Usually, this is not appropriate or necessary – unless her request is really unreasonable in the circumstances. I would use this on cheeky women in bars, but usually not in a polite situation such as with friends or in a social circle. If you can’t imagine yourself pulling this move off, you should try it some time.
If you want to do some more reading, there’s a very in depth article on S**t Tests here.
Remember, getting tests is unavoidable, and they can be a great opportunity to build attraction. If you want help passing congruence tests and getting over other dating problems, I am the best in the business and I am available for personal 1 on 1 coaching.