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You are here: Home / Popular / STOTW: “Are you hitting on me?”

By Chris Shepherd 6 Comments

STOTW: “Are you hitting on me?”

One common congruence test that men get on a regular basis is the classic: “are you hitting on me?”

This question puts a man into a double bind – answer yes, and you are admitting that you have a (shameful) hidden motive to your conversation. Answer no and you are lying or hiding something.

The “test” here is that she is seeing whether you are ashamed of why you are talking to her. 

So, how do you pass the test?

Simple – tell the truth and don’t be ashamed of it. 

There’s a lot of power in telling the truth. It shows confidence and it builds trust. A man who has the confidence to say what he really believes is an attractive man.

But, in order to really tell the truth confidently, you need to be at peace with your actions.

That means you really need to believe that there is nothing wrong with hitting on a woman. 

There might be something wrong with hitting on a woman badly.

There is certainly something wrong with hitting on a woman rudely, creepily, or disgustingly drunkenly. (Thankfully, if you follow my blog you will know not to do that).

But there is *nothing* wrong with being fun and outgoing and starting a conversation with a woman you’re interested in.

Just like there is *nothing wrong* with being a man. And acting like one.

So, with this in mind, when a woman asks “Are you hitting on me?” what is your response?

A) Yes, is it working?

B) You’re very perceptive, I like that.

C) You seem cool, but we should just be friends.

D) I’m just asking questions for now, but I’ll probably hit on you later if I like the answers.

Post your answers in the comments.

Other Common S**t Tests:

  • Are You Hitting On Me?
  • Hold My Drink

Filed Under: Advice, Popular Tagged With: congruence tests, shit tests, tests

Chris Shepherd

I'm Chris Shepherd, and I'm a professional dating coach for men operating out of Toronto. My goal is to create empowered individuals who can achieve their goals in work, dating and life, and who can contribute positively to society.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robert Fisher says

    April 9, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    I’d say “Thanks for the compliment! I think you’re pretty interesting too.” Trying to grab her frame here and turn it around.

    Reply
  2. MCL says

    April 5, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    B. You’re telling the truth, acknowledging she’s right (reaching agreement), and your complimenting her intelligence.

    Reply
  3. David says

    April 5, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    What if you don’t confirm nor deny, but reply with “should I feel ashamed if I was hitting on you?” or “do you find that unreasonable?”. I’m thinking along the lines of reverse psychology.

    Reply
  4. Bren says

    April 4, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    I like them all!

    Reply
    • Chris Shepherd says

      April 4, 2018 at 5:42 pm

      I like this guy’s attitude. 🙂

      Reply
      • JP says

        April 5, 2018 at 7:23 pm

        choice C

        Reply

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