Most of the guys who read my blog will be familiar with the concept of “Congruence Tests”. A congruest test is when a woman gives you a hard time over something or makes an unreasonable request to test your reaction.
Any test is both an obstacle and an opportunity. If you respond appropriately, you gain respect (and attraction). If you respond inappropriately, you lose respect.
Many a man has been undone by his failure to respond to a s**t test, but also many great successes have come from handling these tests well.
The classic example of a congruence test would be at a bar, when she asks you to “hold my drink” for some reason while she has a table right next to her. The *test* here is to see whether you meekly and compliantly hold her drink for her – despite the absence of any real reason to do so.
In short: Are you a man? Or are you furniture?
If you allow yourself to be used as furniture, and give in to the “hold my drink” test, you lose face in the eyes of her and the people around you. You are engaging in approval seeking behaviour, and approval seeking behaviour is not just weak, it’s ungenuine as well.
The key to dealing with shit tests is to not comply with the unreasonable request, while also not acting in a way that is defensive or otherwise socially unacceptable. Sometimes, this can be tricky.
Quiz time: Which of these would be your response to the “hold my drink” test?
a) Take the drink, sniff it. Say “this looks good” and act like you are about to drink it.
b) Point to a nearby table and say “there’s a table right there”.
c) Look her in the eye and say “my hands are really gross, you don’t know where they have been.”
d) Look at her with a raised eyebrow, take the drink, and slowly and deliberately set it down on the table, as if to say “see, that’s not hard”
e) Just stare at her as she holds the drink in the air, not reacting, until she puts it down on the table next to her.
Post your response in the comments. Then continue on to Part 2 where I breakdown the possible responses.
Update: One commenter made a good point.
Some women take that kind of risk more seriously than others and even among themselves they’ll hold each others drinks rather than leave them down somewhere. So asking a man to do it could well simply be an extension of that habit. No shit testing involved.
This is definitely something guys might want to take into consideration, although usually a woman will leave her drink on the table or bar and say “can you keep an eye on my drink” in that situation.