Most of the guys who read my blog will be familiar with the concept of “Congruence Tests”. A congruest test is when a woman gives you a hard time over something or makes an unreasonable request to test your reaction.
Any test is both an obstacle and an opportunity. If you respond appropriately, you gain respect (and attraction). If you respond inappropriately, you lose respect.
Many a man has been undone by his failure to respond to a s**t test, but also many great successes have come from handling these tests well.
The classic example of a congruence test would be at a bar, when she asks you to “hold my drink” for some reason while she has a table right next to her. The *test* here is to see whether you meekly and compliantly hold her drink for her – despite the absence of any real reason to do so.
In short: Are you a man? Or are you furniture?
If you allow yourself to be used as furniture, and give in to the “hold my drink” test, you lose face in the eyes of her and the people around you. You are engaging in approval seeking behaviour, and approval seeking behaviour is not just weak, it’s ungenuine as well.
The key to dealing with shit tests is to not comply with the unreasonable request, while also not acting in a way that is defensive or otherwise socially unacceptable. Sometimes, this can be tricky.
Quiz time: Which of these would be your response to the “hold my drink” test?
a) Take the drink, sniff it. Say “this looks good” and act like you are about to drink it.
b) Point to a nearby table and say “there’s a table right there”.
c) Look her in the eye and say “my hands are really gross, you don’t know where they have been.”
d) Look at her with a raised eyebrow, take the drink, and slowly and deliberately set it down on the table, as if to say “see, that’s not hard”
e) Just stare at her as she holds the drink in the air, not reacting, until she puts it down on the table next to her.
Post your response in the comments. Then continue on to Part 2 where I breakdown the possible responses.
Update: One commenter made a good point.
Some women take that kind of risk more seriously than others and even among themselves they’ll hold each others drinks rather than leave them down somewhere. So asking a man to do it could well simply be an extension of that habit. No shit testing involved.
This is definitely something guys might want to take into consideration, although usually a woman will leave her drink on the table or bar and say “can you keep an eye on my drink” in that situation.
Meaghan says
FYI the same women who do shit tests and bitch shields are the same attention seeking bitches who use men for free meals.
Meaghan says
FYI most women who do shit tests and bitch shields are the same bitches who are into attention and free meals.
Meaghan says
oops double post disregard.
Scot McKay says
I’d actually prefer a woman who says, “Here, hold my beer.” Then again, I’m from Texas.
Elaine says
Why would you assume this is a shit test? Surely you’re aware that women are taught to keep their drinks on them, not leave them unsupervised on a table, in case someone slips something into it? As someone hilariously suggested above^^^. Some women take that kind of risk more seriously than others and even among themselves they’ll hold each others drinks rather than leave them down somewhere. So asking a man to do it could well simply be an extension of that habit. No shit testing involved.
Elaine says
Which would also mean, by extension, that asking you to hold it is a demonstration of trust that she doesn’t suspect you’re going to be slipping a roofie in it. So responding to that as if it’s a shit test would be more than a little counterproductive as well as rude and arrogant.
Chris Shepherd says
Good point. I have updated the article.
James says
(A) seems to be the best answer. You’re “complying” but not complying while being funny. I would alter it to something like: “THANK YOU! I’ve been dying to taste this ever since you ordered it!” and then actually take a small sip.
Norman says
(e) just stare at her as she holds the drink in the air, not reacting until she puts it down on the table next to her. Then pin her against the wall while grabbing a good handful of hair on the back of her head till her chin rises up and say to her “Now, how hard was that to do?” Works for me!
Richard Ladson says
Smile. Politely say, “No Problem”. Take the drink and hold it for her until she ask for it back.
Bill Thompson says
d) Look at her with a raised eyebrow, take the drink, and slowly and deliberately set it down on the table, as if to say “see, that’s not hard”
larry says
d
Daniel says
Why? Does your itty bitty drink need to be held?
peachy says
so you dont get roofied. women are trained to not leave their drinks unattended, this is not an intentional test it’s actually a display of trust.
Wael K says
D
Stephen Monteith Albers says
“I’ll hold yours if you’ll hold mine.”
Bren says
I use a version of A. If I know the lady well I might use D.
Ray k says
Sorry, I saw you slip a roofie in it. You’re going to need to work harder than that to…
Chris Shepherd says
Risqué
TaySon says
D)
Chris Shepherd says
The safest choice 🙂