So the shut up challenge was announced a bit over a week ago, and we’re starting to get some field reports in from guys at the attraction forums. As I expected, there’s a good mix of comedy, tragedy and success.
Basically Yes almost made me squirt milk out my nose with his opener.
Ok so I tried this one time last night as I was about to leave because I had just remembered, I literally gave no thought to it at all, saw the first cute girl (around an 8) and started up. This is the best I remember it:
*girl is sitting on a bar stool at a karaoke bar with her friend who said nothing the entire time except for giggle a few times*
Me: “Abortion. You game?”
I knew from this point on we were dealing with comedy gold. The conclusion, as well, is priceless.
Me: *walking off* “I’m aborting you.”
Me: *turned back around* “so…abortion good?” [I don’t know why I said it like a caveman, I could have just said “so abortion’s good?”]
Her: “Are you American or is this like your second language?”
Ok guys, I’m sorry I have to say this, but ABORTION IS NOT A GOOD TOPIC FOR AN OPENER. Anyways, props to Basically Yes, for making me laugh and putting his balls on the line. If he’d just picked a better opener, it probably would have worked out for him, but that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun as this story.
We also had another guy, Hness000 report in something that worked a little bit better, from an Obama inauguration party.
So I’m living history and having a great time in DC this week, and I decide to celebrate the inauguration of the man with the silver tongue by shutting the fuck up.
I’m winging my friend in a two-set, and the obstacle – a petite but feisty little Filipino girl – is immediately intoxicated by my swagger and starts flirting with me hard.
I tell her I wanna show her something cool and iso her to another part of the venue.
I take her to a corner, turn around, lean back against a fireplace and look into her eyes for like 10 seconds until she gets a little uneasy and says something:
HB: What is it?
Me: <pause> Tell me more.
HB: <laughs> tell you more about what?
Me: You…Tell me more
This is starting out good, although “Tell me more” is a little bit weak. When you’re doing the silence excercise, you need to give EVERY word you use a lot of deep meaning, a lot of power. Still, he’s got the point. And most importantly, he gets it here…
HB: Uuughhh… I don’t know what you want me to say.
This whole time, I’m kino escalating like crazy, and by this point, the girl’s body temperature is so high steam was coming out of her ears, and she was eyeing me like I was a piece of steak.
I decide to go for the kill. I give her the little devil look for a good 5 seconds. Then I wrap her around the waist and slowly close the distance between us.
I bring one hand up to grab the back of her head and cock it up towards me, stare deeper into her hypnotized little puppy dog eyes, and with an ever-so slight grin on my face, I hit her with the grand finale:
Next thing I know she’s sucking my face off like I’d just been sworn in as leader of the Free World.
Yes… We… Can… perfect! That is using your words to maximum effect!
If you want to participate or share your stories from the Shut Up Challenge, check out the thread here.