In nearly every city I have been to (and I’ve been to a lot), I hear from some guys that their city is the worst place to meet women in the entire world.
There are no cool, attractive women in my city. They say.
If they are attractive, they have bad attitudes.
And if they don’t have bad attitudes, they are surrounded by competition.
And let me tell you something.
I understand where these guys are coming from.
In my career as a dating coach, I have been to some of the douchiest bars on the entire planet.
I’ve seen people lined up around the block in overpriced bad clothing so that they can “party” in the loudest and most uncomfortable spot for miles in any direction.
I’ve been to clubs so loud that it’s literally impossible to communicate with anyone in any way – you can only numb your brain with alcohol and grind your body against absolute strangers.
I’ve seen DJ’s who are hyped to high heaven yet their latest song sounds like “doop, doop” played on repeat on a Casio keyboard.
Whether you are in Toronto, New York, LA, London, or Berlin, places like that are everywhere. And they often get promoted like crazy on social media and on the radio.
And you know what – it’s hard to find cool people at places like that.
It’s almost as if there was something driving cool people away.
But, you know what I do when I’m at one of those places?
I go somewhere else (ideally as fast as possible).
Just imagine you were a cool single woman with a good head on her shoulders.
Would you go to that bar?
Or would you avoid that scene like the plague?
Would you rush the stage screaming when “doop doop” starts playing? Or would you be kind of bored?
No matter what city you are in, if you go to the wrong places, you will surround yourself with the wrong people, and you will have bad experiences.
Every city has enough shallow, annoying, narcissistic people in it to fill a petty large nightclub if they all go to the same place.
And, if you go to average bars, and have high expectations, you will be disappointed.
And that can make you feel like there are no attractive women in your city, that there are no people you really would want to date.
But, if you want to meet someone that you really like, you need to change your strategy.
You don’t go where the crowd goes. You need to figure out where the kind of woman you want to meet is likely to go.
Maybe she would rather go to an art gallery, or a performance. Maybe she goes with her friends to a quiet classy place in her neighborhood once in a while. Maybe she only goes out when it’s someone’s birthday party.
But if you go to the right spots, you meet the right people. And that can make a huge difference in your impression of the city you live in.
When I’m coaching guys, I take them through a strategy session where we figure out exactly WHERE they are most likely to meet women they really click with.
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