Nagging and The ADHD Relationship Suicide Spiral

The relationship started happily enough. A new relationship is fun and exciting, and you’re at your best when things are fun and exciting. 

But soon enough troubles started.

She started to nag. 

And there’s nothing that you find more annoying than nagging. 

And the worst thing about the nagging is the fact that she’s often right. 

You did forget something.

You were careless.

And yes, you did screw up something simple.

But the nagging doesn’t help the problem. It just rubs you the wrong way. 

It makes you defensive. Irritable.

After all, you’ve been nagged to death and back again a few times now. 

Nagging never fixes the problem. 

It just makes things worse. Because now you feel like crap. And you’re irritated. And ashamed. And beat down. 

At this point, things can go a few ways. 

First, you can get irritable and fight back.  

But that just hurts her feelings and makes it even worse. 

Or, you can give in and let the nagging happen. 

But that feels like getting pushed around. 

Or you can just say screw it, decide you’ve had enough, and walk out on the relationship.

After all, maybe it’s easier to start over than to put in the work to fix this problem.

Especially if the problem is something that you have been dealing with your entire life. 

It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way

People who suffer from ADHD often face a particular cycle of relationship problems. 

I call it the ADHD Relationship Suicide Spiral. 

These problems usually start with inattentiveness, but they are made *much* worse by the way both partners react to the inattentiveness.

Chances are, if you have ADHD, you might recognize this spiral. 

But there’s good news… 

You can break the cycle.

Once you break that cycle, you can start to see an incredible transformation in your dating and social life.

You can overcome the effect that ADHD has on your relationships – especially the way that you, and your partners, react to the inattentiveness.

Suddenly, problems that were unfixable start to actually get fixed.

You can learn how to accept feedback (without feeling overwhelmed and nagged to death). 

You can learn how to stand up for yourself (without being irritable or making things worse). 

You can learn how to develop more careful habits and be more mindful and engaged with the world around you. 

And most importantly, you can learn how to make it work when you are in a relationship with someone that you love and who is good for you. 

As a dating coach I help guys learn how to break out of the ADHD Relationship Suicide Spiral and navigate their relationships successfully – despite the special challenges they face.

To read more about ADHD and Dating, check out these other articles.

Dating With Attention Deficit Disorder 

Attention Deficit Disorder and Social Anxiety 

Why People With ADHD Miss Social Cues

Nagging and the ADHD Relationship Suicide Spiral

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