This is the second in my series about female psychology, and the usual mistakes that men make in trying to understand how women think.
Discretion – Most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation, but for women, reputation is something that women are thinking about all the time. Ever wonder why a girl won’t make out with you at a party, but jumps you when you’re walking home? That happens a lot because women often won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends.
Relationships – On television, it always works like this: women are dying for relationships, and guys are afraid to commit. But guess what…. It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick. This leads nicely into the next bullet…
It Goes Without Saying – Guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like “I like you”, when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you like her, chances are she already knows it. Chances are, if she’s still hanging out with you, she likes you too.
Another good example of this is the “relationship talk”. You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. “Listen, I really like you, but I want you to know that I’m not really interested in an exclusive relationship right now”. Or even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. Guess what guys – most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. I never even hint that I’m being monogamous with most of the women I’m seeing (unless I am), and they NEVER ask me if I’m sleeping with other women. Even women who know that I am a professional pickup artist, and even when I say “I was hanging out with my friend Sophie last night”, they never ask “so are you sleeping with Sophie”. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty – I always answer any question truthfully, and I never deliberately mislead a woman – it’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together.
If you want to learn how to upgrade your dating life in a way that is effective and natural, I provide live dating coaching in Toronto and elsewhere to select clients.
Head back to How to Pick up Women for Beginners