First of all, let me make a disclaimer: This article isn’t about dealing with women at work, or at school, or in other serious, non-emotional situations. This article is about female psychology in the context of emotionally charged relationships. When it comes to emotional relationships, men and women really have very different sets of emotional drives, needs and feelings. More often than not, this causes confusion, plate-throwing, whining, late-night phone calls and frustration. I’m mostly going to deal with the emotional drives and needs that are relevant to hooking up with a woman you’re interested.
First of all, women are way more perceptive than men. The average woman picks up on social cues and understands social situations way better than the average man. Do you ever remember a time when you had a crush on a girl and tried to show it, but maybe you were a bit shy or you were playing it coy, and you weren’t sure if she got your signals? Chances are she got your signals loud and clear. It’s like Peter Parker’s spider sense.
We all have a habit of presuming that everyone thinks exactly like us. Women are no exception, and a big mistake a lot of women make is that they presume that guys are as sensitive to social situations as they are. Sometimes, when a woman is sending subtle signals to you, and you’re thinking to yourself “hmm… does she like me?”, she’s thinking to herself “God! Can I make this more obvious without coming across desperate?”
Which leads to the first lesson of female psychology – If you think she MIGHT like you, you should presume that she DOES. Or to put it another way, *it’s always on*. If a woman isn’t into you, SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW. Especially if you make a move. Take the risk, don’t waste your time.
Attraction – Just like women make the mistake of thinking men are as perceptive as they are, Men often make the mistake of thinking that women experience attraction like men do. The fact is, attraction for both sexes is quite different.
For guys, attraction = sex. If you’re attracted to a woman, chances are you would sleep with her, and she would have to really demonstrate a lousy personality or do something pretty weird to make you change your mind. Also, in nearly every situation, we’re going to pick a woman we’re more attracted to over a woman we’re less attracted to.Women, on the other hand, are attracted to men all the time, but for them attraction does not equal sex.
Because guys naturally presume that women think like them, guys often over-estimate the importance of attraction in a woman’s decision making. This is why some muscle heads go online and just post pictures of their abs, and wonder why women don’t email them. Or why guys primp and preen and try to impress, and wonder why women aren’t that impressed.
The fact is, attraction only gets your foot in the door, and the real game is played in comfort. A big part of the game is realizing when a woman is attracted to you, and just learning how to chill out and set things up so that you can actually capitalize on the attraction you have.
Which leads to the second rule of female psychology – just because she’s attracted to you, doesn’t mean she’ll sleep with you yet. Comfort and logistics are just as important to getting the girl as attraction is.
If you want to learn how to upgrade your dating life in a way that is effective and natural, I provide live dating coaching in Toronto and elsewhere to select clients.
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