Continuing on the topic of gooroos and how a great many of them are full of boulshyte and worse.
A lot of people wonder – how bad can it be?
Surly, they can’t be lying about everything.
Oh my sweet summer child… you have no idea…
Let me give you an example of the kind of stuff that goes on.
This story is second hand so take it with a grain of salt, but it comes to me from credible sources.
Once, a colleague of mine (who is a great guy and shall remain nameless) had a student in London.
This guy was a piece of work.
It turns out, he had just *bought* a dating coaching company.
The only problem – he didn’t know the first thing about how to talk to a woman.
He wanted to take my friend’s class so he could teach what he learned to his students.
My friend was a bit miffed but started teaching him anyways. Gave him the full coaching experience.
And this guy *would not approach* or take any instruction… he would just sit around complaining about how nobody in the room was good enough for him to talk to, etc.
Finally, my friend put him on the spot and told him he needed to approach.
He pointed to a girl, sitting at the bar, practically begging him to come over and say “hi”.
“No more excuses”
The student got a panicky look in his eye. He swallowed hard.
He made a weird face. Like a grimace with one eye popping out a bit.
And suddenly bolted for the door.
As he left, a very unpleasant smell wafted up from waist level.
A barnyard smell.
The boulshyte artist had boulshyted himself.
This guy never came back, but as far as I know he spent *years* teaching guys in and around London how to “pick up”, despite being a person with nearly 0 charisma who needs to pay women who are just as shallow and empty as him to be seen with him.
This is a guy who literally soils the floor of a nightclub when he is actually asked to practice what he preaches.
Which leads to the philosophical question: How many lies does a lying liar lie?
Most honest people vastly underestimate this number.
They take the number of lies they tell, multiply that by 4 or 5, and think “A liar must lie about 5 times as much as me. That would be a lot of lies”.
Oh my sweet summer child….
In my experience, a real, top-notch scumbag liar lies approximately 100% of the time when it comes to matters of importance. They will actually go out of their way to lie to you about completely unnecessary stuff just to impress you or add credibility to their other lies.
So, what does an honest guy do?
Ronald Regan’s advice in this case is good – “Trust but Verify”. If someone makes a claim, look for some evidence to corroborate it. If you can’t verify it, it might not be true.
The other thing you need to do is to trust your gut.
Every time I’ve run across a grade-a scumbag liar, I have always had a little voice that warned me.
There was always something too good to be true, something a bit off about the lie.
And every time I have been burned by a lie, I always thought to myself “I should have known”…. because the warning signs were there.
Thankfully, that little warning voice combined with “trust but verify” has saved my butt on many occasions.
The final piece of advice is that you need to learn to separate people who are the real deal from the phonies.
If there is one thing that liars have in common, it is that they are obsessed with the appearance of things, but care very little about the nature of things.
They would rather appear charming than have friends. They would rather have arm-candy than relationships. They would rather appear successful than be successful.
The kind of people I like to work with and spend time with, on the other hand, are concerned with the real nature of things.
They want to really understand and relate to people, not just create the appearance. They want to have real relationships with people they really like. They want to appear as successful as they actually are.
At first glance, authentic people are often a bit less flashy than the boulshyte artists, but once you dig a bit deeper, you get so much more from working with authentic people.
As a coach, I don’t have any tolerance for boulshyte artists. I like helping solid guys bring their dating life up to the level of the rest of their life.
No boulshyte. No fakery. Just authentic self improvement (the kind that is hard and requires work) combined with real communication of the new, improved you.
To peruse my humble dating coaching wares, click the link below: