Watching Netflix’s recent documentary on the Fyre Festival really brought back old memories for me…. traumatic memories…
If you haven’t watched the documentary, the Fyre Festival was a super-hyped festival in the Bahamas that was sold as the greatest and sexiest concert that was ever going to happen.
But despite an amazing marketing campaign, it flopped. Hard.
It was a disorganized mess and the attendees wound up basically stranded at the airport with no water eating cheese sandwiches and hurricane rations.
Turns out the guys who sold the Fyre festival didn’t know the first thing about how to actually run a festival.
The most interesting character in whole debacle is Billy McFarland, the “entrepreneur” who conceived and organized the whole festival.
He’s a great boulshyter, and an extraordinary salesman. But he’s well beyond just being confident, or optimistic.
He lives in a sort of fantasy land where there’s no distinction between appearance and reality.
Billy believed his own hype. He believed his own hype so much that he completely lost touch with reality and became a monster.
He had a vision. A compelling vision. A plausible vision. But because he didn’t build his vision on solid ground (i.e. the Truth) his vision turned into a nightmare.
One thing I’ve noticed in the dating coaching/self-help business is that there are a lot of guys like Billy out there.
I’ve worked with them. (Hence the traumatic memories).
Guys who know how to sell. Guys who know how to pump you up and get things done using dreams and wishful thinking. Guys who can motivate and inspire and lead.
And you know what, their stuff works for a while.
But if it’s not grounded in the truth, it’s not built on solid ground.
And eventually it’s all going to fall over.
You can’t fix a problem unless you start with the truth about what the problem is.
That’s why, in my coaching, one of the first things I do is encourage guys to cut out the boulshyte, the fakery, and the games that they may have been playing with women, and start over again. From the beginning.
I start with what is true, and work from there.
And in the long run, that works out a lot better.
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