In this video I’m going to share some first date ideas and explain to you why you should NEVER go for dinner and a movie on the first date.
I also explain three secrets to a great first date that you can use today to make your first date, fun, relaxed and memorable. I’m also going to give you some tips you can use if you’re the kind of person who gets nervous on dates, if you have trouble running out of things to say, and if you have trouble finding something your date will like.
Why do people think Dinner and a Movie is a good first date idea?
So, the first question is – why do people think that dinner and a movie is a good idea? Why is it such a cliché?
Because dinner and a movie is the go-to date for MARRIED people and people who are in relationships. And it’s a great date for someone you see every day, which is why it’s a BAD date for someone you first met.
Here’s why dinner and a movie winds up making for a bad first date.
First, you sit around and basically have an interview for an hour with nothing interesting going on except your salad or something.
Then after you have completely run out of things to say and shared way to much information with your date, you go to a dark room and watch people fight – or even worse, you watch a terrible romantic comedy where she knows you’re not enjoying yourself at all.
So now, you can make a move on her in the dark, I guess. But that’s awkward. After all, you probably have greasy popcorn fingers or bits of your meal stuck in your teeth or you’re going to burp diet coke burps at her.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
And it’s noisy so you can’t talk. You can’t say something sexy or funny and make a move.
What are you going to do, sneak in there while she’s distracted?
Is that your plan? For the first date.
“Hey, remember that time when we first met, and you grabbed my butt right when Mary Jane died in Peter Parker’s arms?”
Yeah, that’s creepy.
That’s why dinner and a movie is for COUPLES. It’s not for first dates.
So, what do you do instead?
First Date Tip #1 – Go in with the Right Intention
First of all, you need to go into the date with the right INTENTION – the right goal in mind.
And the right goal is for you and her to create an EMOTIONAL connection. That’s it.
So you want to take her to something that facilitates that.
So you don’t need to take her to something COOL.
You don’t need to take her to something intense or exciting or expensive.
You need to take her to something that lets you both show who you really are in an honest and truthful way, that doesn’t get boring or awkward. And usually that is something pretty chill.
First Date Tip #2 – Don’t ask her “What do you want to do?”
Guys, promise me you won’t have this conversation:
Girl: “Why yes, I’d love to go on a date with you, wha do you want to do?”
Guy: “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?”
Girl [thinks to herself] I don’t know dummy, it’s a date. It’s your job. Do the job.
Pick something. Make choices. Do the things!
Picking the date is one of the “impossible tasks” that women give you when you start to date. The task is: take her on the ideal date that she wants to go on, but if you get it wrong you lose. If you ask what she likes you lose too.
But here’s a trick – you can’t ask her what she wants to do, but you CAN sneak a little bit of information from her by asking “profiling questions”. They go like this.
So, do you feel like doing something adventurous or chill tonight?
Do you feel like eating something spicy or fresh?
Do you prefer Japanese or Italian?
If you ask those questions, you can get a little bit of a feel for what she likes without looking like you can’t think for yourself.
First Date Tip #3 – Keep things interesting with multiple activities.
Doing MULTIPLE ACTIVITIES can really help keep your date interesting and prevent it from getting stale.
When you run out of things to say, you can move to the next stage of the date. This keeps the date from becoming an interview, it takes the pressure off, and makes it easier to be interesting and avoid awkward silences, and lets her see different sides of you.
One of the good things about doing multiple activities is that you get to see one another in a variety of contexts, which really helps create that feeling like you know someone – without having to share your whole life story.
So you sit down and chat for a bit, you walk for a bit, maybe you do some activity…. Each of these things will illustrate a slightly different side of your personality that is interesting, and it avoids the “interview mode”.
Multiple activities can be simple. It can mean meeting for coffee, then walking to a park, grabbing a meal and then some music after.
Finally – Bring her into your life.
I get it, you want to show off a bit. But you don’t want to look like you’re showing off, because all that shows is that you’re a showoff. This is another impossible task.
Anyway, what you really want to show off is your character and your confidence and all the cool stuff about you that will still be around even if you lose your job and get fat.
And the way to do that is to take her to the places that YOU know, the places where you are confident and know your way around, where you’re on your home turf. That’s where you’ll be relaxed, that’s where you’ll be interesting, and that’s where you’ll be confident.
So take her out in your favorite neighborhood. Take her to a restaurant where you know what is good on the menu. Take her to the bar where the waiters and waitresses know your name and treat you like a boss.
That’s the right way to “show off” in an authentic, confident way.