One of the things I like most about my favorite book of 2018, is how it presents a great alternative to “compromise” as a way of negotiating with people.
Now, don’t get me wrong, compromise is a great tool to resolve disputes in relationships and elsewhere. But there are a lot of situations where you simply cannot compromise on important issues.
And in this book, Jim Camp presents a great alternative to compromise. It’s a solution that feels like compromise to the other party, and achieves the effect of compromise, but doesn’t involve compromising on things you really care about. There’s no win-win, or splitting things 50-50.
Here’s what Jim Camp teaches (you need to check out the book to get the full details but this is a 10,000 foot summary).
- Have a detailed vision of what you want. This is your mission and purpose.
- Find out what your counterparty *really* wants.
- Create a vision in their world that is good for them and good for you. A vision that meets their needs and desires.
- Share that vision persuasively.
- Stick to your guns, while being flexible enough to update your vision as new information comes in.
That’s it. No bargaining. No 50-50. No bullying or whining or manipulating. Just a smart vision and a healthy dose of integrity.
And what’s interesting about Jim Camp’s technique is that it’s extremely similar to something that I’ve been teaching guys to do for almost a decade now.
Because whether it’s a date or a relationship, the most valuable thing you can do is create a vision (of the date, or the relationship) that works for both of you. Something she is going to be excited about. Something that meets her needs.
And once you have that vision, all of a sudden things get a lot easier. You are persuasive without being manipulative. Good compromises come easy, and bad compromises can be avoided. Most importantly, you’re not compromising what is important to you.
If you want to work on your vision – your mission and purpose, and get personalized help on how to create a compelling and persuasive vision that helps you avoid the trap of foolish reflexive compromise, I have a few coaching spots still available for January. Click the link below to find out more.